After working 2 jobs and going to a full time ministry school, life has slowed down quit a bit this summer. And sometimes when a slower pace presents itself, old mindset present themselves as if a warm blanket. Slowly but surely, I start to feel choked by this blanket.
It lies to me and tells me that my value comes from what I do . It tells me if I don’t do more, I’m not gonna make it. It tells me it’s my job to take care of me, not my Heavenly Fathers. It tells me that striving produces fruit.
Ever so subtly, it can smother the foundational truth about grace and love.
I was wrestling with this a yesterday, and asking the Holy Spirit to do a work in my heart. His love is hard for our minds to grasp. I gave Him permission to bypass my mind and go straight into my spirit. I just wanted to be able to receive His unconditional love.
Then last night at a worship time he reminded me of something…
The night before I was babysitting. The baby fell asleep in the living room, and I didn’t want to unsettle her big brother by walking by his room as he put himself to sleep. So I was forced to hold her sleeping on my chest for about 30 minutes. I thought to myself this has got to be the best feeling in the world. A little one snuggled onto me and sleeping so peacefully.
She was doing nothing, and yet I received so much from her. She wasn’t performing and making me laugh. She wasn’t attempting to walk. She wasn’t passing any milestone or showing me how smart she is. She simply slept in my arms.
As I thought back through that memory, it helped me to grasp the love of our heavenly father.
“We love because He first loved us.” -1 John 3:19
“But God demonstrated his own love for us in this: while we were still sinners Christ died for us.” -Romans 5:8
It is not what we do that draws us close. It’s a trust that allows Him to hold us while we sleep. It’s a trust that His promises are true, and that He really is “working all things together for our good” (Romans 8:28). Our only responsibility in that verse is to love Him.
I came across this verse and thought to myself, wow, that’s something to be known for.
“for I have always been mindful of your unfailing love and have lived in reliance on your faithfulness.” -Psalm 26:3
Lest, I forget, please remind me, that is to which I aspire.
I pray that we will find rest in His loving arms today. I pray that we will trust in His faithfulness.
“Like clay in the potter’s hands
Mold me, mold me
Like a child in her father’s arms
Hold me, hold me
Like a sparrow afraid to fly
Raise me, raise me
This is just between You and I
I love You, I love You”
Like Clay, Larue