I love December and can’t wait to pull out the Christmas decor. In fact this year my roommates and I actually decorated before Thanksgiving. Shh, don’t tell my mother for this is a total faux pas to the family I grew up in! But we just couldn’t wait. So naturally I encouraged my roommates to put on hats and we ventured to the dollar stores in our area in order to do it up big on Landmark Court.
With that said, I must admit this December hasn’t exactly been the month I expected.
Mid-month I found out that I have to have surgery on my neck to remove a lymph node. I don’t think the thought of surgery gets too many of us non-surgeons excited. My surgeon made a valient effort in trying to convince me that this could be fun. But his effort was unsuccessful.
My sweet older brother helped me get a ticket home for the holidays. What a gracious gift, because I can’t imagine spending Christmas anywhere but with my family. Seven adorable nieces and nephews, I mean really, no explanation needed right?
I arrived in Texas 24 hours after my flight was scheduled to leave Sacramento. This really wasn’t too big of a deal. The airline got me a hotel room and gave me some vouchers for food. I guess my heavenly Father saw that I might need a little more time with Him before arriving in the Lone Star State.
When I got here my sister filled me in on everything and told me that my mom wasn’t doing too well.
I found this unfortunately true on Christmas when she only made one comment at Christmas dinner. This is not my mother. She is a strong woman with plently to say. She attempted to smile a couple times and it seemed that half her face refused to go up with her grin.
Today as we made the hour and an half drive to the doctor, I found myself surprisingly grateful. I found myself thinking in my head I am abundantly, richly, ridiculously blessed. Honestly, it was such a unexpected moment.
It had to be the Holy Spirit dropping a little of heaven’s perspective into my heart.
Tonight I had my emotional moment. The silent tears started coming. The pain and reality of not having my dream home situation to visit. There is no doting mother in our kitchen. Although friends often speak of doting as an annoying trait, I have to confess sometimes it sounds nice.
As I began to journal the Lord sweetly led me back to the place of blessing. He is leading me to comfort in His Word through scriptures like these…
“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” James 1:2-4
“The righteous person may have many troubles,
but the LORD delivers him from them all;”
Psalm 34:19
Emotional moments? There will undoubtedly be more. I am human. I am a girl. 🙂 Tears are healthy. And after those tears, I will eventually find my way back to counting my blessings.
We are still waiting for test results for mom and there are still unknowns, but what I do know is-
I may have troubles, but my Dad, He’ll deliver me from ALL of them! He wants me to be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
mrsannamaher.com 