Loud doesn’t equal connection.
I just googled the loneliest city in America, because I recall hearing it was New York and discovered that you can rent a cuddle in Tokyo. What?! I’ll admit my source was google, but has our modern world really come to this desperate place? Renting a cuddle people, how sad is that?
In some ways, I find it surprising and in others, not at all. Most of us live with so much fake connection. We spend more time scrolling than looking into the eyes of those we encounter. It’s a quick hit that doesn’t require giving of ourselves at all.
Real people have real needs.
And sometimes we are just so tired from all the scrolling that we don’t have time to consider meeting those needs.
Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. Ephesians 4:2
Real people require things like humility, gentleness, and patience.
And sometimes we are just so tired from all the scrolling that we don’t have the energy to be humble, gentle, or patient.
The result is a very lonely generation. We’ve bought the lie that it’s better to receive than to give and created a vacuum of unmet needs.
I heard an older lady talk about what her days where like as a young mom. She said they often went to each others houses and ironed while the kids played. Y’all I don’t even iron my own clothes (or my sweet husbands) let alone my friends! But it was such a picture to me of community and living life WITH people.
Honestly, I’ve had some really good examples of living in community. I spent 9 weeks on bed rest with the twins and I had community bring us meals. Friends brought over a months worth of diapers (for two babies!). Friends brought me coffee, watched shows with me, switched over laundry, and even cleaned our apartment. Not gonna lie, it was way harder for me to be on that side of community. I’ve spent years helping and working for families and having someone clean our toilets, do our dishes, or make our bed felt super vulnerable at times. I think the Lord was preparing me to be able to receive help, because with twins sometimes you can’t survive without it!
Real community requires vulnerability. Often vulnerability is the thing we fear the most. The thing about the online world is that we can choose what to share! No one has to see our dirty laundry, messy bed, food caked dishes, or the state of our toilets. We don’t have to let them into our world. We just crack the door and show the world our best sliver.
But if that’s all we do, deep down there’s an emptiness. Deep inside there is a longing to be really known. Beyond the fear, there’s an innate desire to throw open the door and welcome someone in despite the laundry baskets that need to be folded.
Y’all cuddles should never have to be rented!
The world around us is LOUD. So many voices. So many opinions. So much hiding behind screens while inwardly dying to be known.
So today put down the phone. Look into your loved ones eyes. Memorize the moments that really matter. Because today holds tomorrows “remember whens”. Someday you will refer to today as “the good ole days”.
If you are feeling lonely, may I suggest you find a way to meet anothers needs. Take a new mom a meal. Give a mom a break and get some free cuddles. Ask your spouse questions like you would have when you were dating. Make a meal to savor tonight with friends or family. Take a friend to coffee and pursue their heart.
Do to others as you would have them do to you. Luke 6:31
Don’t miss the beautiful life before you- connection is worth it!
“She is NOT a mom” the lady behind me LOUDLY whispered.
We recently moved from our 2nd floor apartment to a 1940’s bungalow. I imagine it was built in the post-war era when the world was putting itself back together and trying to find normal again. Sometimes I sit on the porch sipping sweet tea and try to imagine what it was like back then. I plan to start doing more of this now that the temperatures have dipped and hopefully the mosquitos are gone. (We’ve had a bit of a stand-off as to whose porch it actually is.)
