what i learned from scary people.


I opened the door to my third story attic room at the maternity home, and I welcomed her in.  She was probably around 7 months pregnant and one of the scariest people I’d ever met.  I offered her the oversized chair and popped up on the window seat.

Then it came.

Like fire out her mouth she started to tell me all the reasons why she hated me.  And this girl had endurance, her speech was at least 45 minutes.  Forty five minutes of why I was a terrible person.

Finally, the last sentence was something to the effect of, “I hate you because you are everything I wanted to be.”

The dam broke.

The root finally exposed.

And until the wee hours of the morning I watched her tough facade crumble, and I felt the very Spirit of God sweep into the room to wrap His arms around His girl.  Man, He LOVES His girls.  Turns out she was the scared one, and oh how He loved this scared girl.

Compassion flooded into my heart, and suddenly I was able to see the most tender parts of this girls hurting heart.  I had access to places that had been behind steel bars for quite sometime.  I don’t remember our exact conversations, but I’ll never forget that she left different.

What I learned that night is…

We often choose to run from or shut out scary people in our lives.  We reason our way out of the relationships.  We have good grounds to create enough boundaries to keep them OUT.  We reject them one more time.

Scary people are usually the ones who need us the most.

Scary people are usually the ones who are hurting the most.

Scary people usually make an “issue” out of something that is really far from the true “issue.”

Scary people are usually broken.

Scary people are usually more scared than the one they are scaring.

We have to really know the truth about who we are to love scary people successfully.

Scary people don’t get to define us, they don’t usually admit who we truly are.

We have to be brave to love scary people.

Our bravery may be the key to their breakthrough.

Unconditional love turns scary people into vulnerable people we can lead to wholeness.

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment.

The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

1 John 4:18

How do you respond to scary people in your life?

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