After almost a week of VBS… I was ready for an afternoon at home.
Sudden inspiration hit me.
I’ve been wanting to paint my desk an antique white for a while.
So, this afternoon I did it…
It turned out a little yellower than I would like, but I still like it.
Something to think about…
Bill Johnson often says, “You have to give up the right to understand to get the peace that passes all understanding.”
Do we really need the information we THINK we do?
I have a wonderful dad, who took great care of me and my siblings. I never doubted his care or provision. He is fabulous at affirmation to this day, and probably the hardest working man on the planet. Really, I don’t know how he does all that he does. He has owned and run 2 business in his lifetime, and continues at 65 to run the “Flory Tree Farm.”
He is a hero, and I could rest in his arms.
As a kid, I didn’t worry much. I didn’t ask many questions. I was pretty kick-back all the way down to the way I dressed. There may or may not have been a couple year stint where I wore a sweatsuit almost everyday. I could have possibly forgotten this, except that my siblings remind me of it more often than they realize. You’ll have to ask them what color it was, for I choose not to disclose this information.
I was free as a bird.
Silly as can be.
Eccentric at moments.
And if I was saying something funny, I was giving you something to laugh at.
I was quite unhindered by the opinions of others.
Most of my friends were boys down the street.
We played outside for hours a day, under the shade of big oak trees.
I wondered home around dinner smelling of the outdoors, and acquired the nickname “Stinky” from my big brother.
So, today I am on the quest to unearth this girl.
When did I decide to grow up?
That was a dumb decision.
I don’t wanna grow up.
I don’t think I will.
After all, here’s a few things my Savior had to say about the subject…
“At that time Jesus said, ‘I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children.” -Matthew 11:25
I’ll take it.
“And he said: ‘Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” -Matthew 18:3
Welcome to my journey back into childlikeness, feel free to join me. It could do you some good as well I’m sure of it.
After working 2 jobs and going to a full time ministry school, life has slowed down quit a bit this summer. And sometimes when a slower pace presents itself, old mindset present themselves as if a warm blanket. Slowly but surely, I start to feel choked by this blanket.
It lies to me and tells me that my value comes from what I do . It tells me if I don’t do more, I’m not gonna make it. It tells me it’s my job to take care of me, not my Heavenly Fathers. It tells me that striving produces fruit.
Ever so subtly, it can smother the foundational truth about grace and love.
I was wrestling with this a yesterday, and asking the Holy Spirit to do a work in my heart. His love is hard for our minds to grasp. I gave Him permission to bypass my mind and go straight into my spirit. I just wanted to be able to receive His unconditional love.
Then last night at a worship time he reminded me of something…
The night before I was babysitting. The baby fell asleep in the living room, and I didn’t want to unsettle her big brother by walking by his room as he put himself to sleep. So I was forced to hold her sleeping on my chest for about 30 minutes. I thought to myself this has got to be the best feeling in the world. A little one snuggled onto me and sleeping so peacefully.
She was doing nothing, and yet I received so much from her. She wasn’t performing and making me laugh. She wasn’t attempting to walk. She wasn’t passing any milestone or showing me how smart she is. She simply slept in my arms.
As I thought back through that memory, it helped me to grasp the love of our heavenly father.
“We love because He first loved us.” -1 John 3:19
“But God demonstrated his own love for us in this: while we were still sinners Christ died for us.” -Romans 5:8
It is not what we do that draws us close. It’s a trust that allows Him to hold us while we sleep. It’s a trust that His promises are true, and that He really is “working all things together for our good” (Romans 8:28). Our only responsibility in that verse is to love Him.
I came across this verse and thought to myself, wow, that’s something to be known for.
“for I have always been mindful of your unfailing love and have lived in reliance on your faithfulness.” -Psalm 26:3
Lest, I forget, please remind me, that is to which I aspire.
I pray that we will find rest in His loving arms today. I pray that we will trust in His faithfulness.
“Like clay in the potter’s hands
Mold me, mold me
Like a child in her father’s arms
Hold me, hold me
Like a sparrow afraid to fly
Raise me, raise me
This is just between You and I
I love You, I love You”
Like Clay, Larue
“God never witholds from His child that which His love and wisdom call good. God’s refusals are always merciful — “severe mercies” at times but mercies all the same. God never denies us our hearts desire except to give us something better.”
— Elisabeth Elliot
I was probably eleven or twelve. I was the queen of babysitting. I had built up quite a cliental within biking distance, and often had to turn down jobs because I was already booked. I loved it, and often only remembered I got paid for it when they handed me a wad of cash at the end of the night.
One friday night a family from across town called and asked if I could babysit, and stay the night with them. I asked my mom, and she said no. Honestly this wasn’t the norm for my mom. I am the youngest of four and have always been on the responsible side of things so it wasn’t often that I wasn’t permitted to do something I desired.
Hmm… that’s weird I thought. I had nothing to do and an opportunity came up and she said no. So, I threw chairs, screamed and threw a fit. (well, maybe I didn’t do that, but it makes the story more interesting…)
I honestly don’t remember much else about this memory until the next morning. I was fast asleep in my comfy bed, in my little shabby chic room and suddenly I was awoken by the giggles of junior high girls. I opened my eyes to see all my best friends excitingly telling me that I could only brush my teeth and we were going to breakfast in our pj’s.
My mom had said no, because she knew that something better was coming my way the next morning. She knew that I would enjoy a fun surprise breakfast with all my best friends even more than I loved babysitting. She knew what I needed. She knew what was good for me.
I often reflect on this story as a parallel for closed doors in my life. God wants to give us everything we’ve ever wanted! He wants to fulfill the desires of our hearts. And sometimes that actually means a no. That no is not the end, but a beginning.
It means, no baby, not that now, but there is something so much better I have for you.
I don’t know where you are at today. I don’t know if the options seem limited. I don’t know if doors seem to be slamming, but may I remind you that…
He withholds no good thing from those whose walk is blameless. -Psalm 84:10
He is ridiculously good.
He is better than we can think or imagine.
He absolutely has good things for you.
He has plans to prosper you, to give you a hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)
So turn that discouragement into anticipation. Amazing things are coming your way.
Only the best for you beloved one.
“For He gives to His beloved even in his sleep.” -Psalm 127:2
If that isn’t grace, what is?
Even while we are asleep our heavenly Father is filling us and pouring into us.
If that isn’t a loud and clear message to let go and know He is God and He is good, what is?
As I meditated on this scripture I thought of new parents. When they bring home that sleepy little newborn, there are no expectations or requirements for them to give all they have to that precious little one. Parents could stare for hours at this amazing creation.
And what is the child doing?
Just sleeping.
Another benefit to sleep it releases us to dream. We need proper rest in order to dream. Sleep slips us beyond the limitations we think we have.
“Cease from striving and know that I am God.” -Psalm 46:10
So go ahead, take a nap.
He’s got something for you.
2 years of ministry school completed. 6 more days of math and reading with 3rd graders, then that chapter closes as well. ready or not summer is here.
today i dropped up a few more applications for a summer job. somewhere along the way i cried over a bag of milk chocolate m&m’s. somehow feelings of being overwhelmed took over and the tears spilled down my cheeks. the m&m’s didn’t prove to bring the hope i’d desired. shocking right?
i cried to my dad on the phone, while he scrambled endlessly to help me find solutions to get me out of the pit i’d climbed into. precious efforts, but it didn’t seem to bring relief either.
then sometime after i got home, i was going through some pictures and stumbled upon some from last month…
hawaii.
suddenly my fears of provision seemed foolish. because they are.
how did i forget?
sunsets and swimming with dolphins.
He takes care of me.
He lavishes ridiculously good gifts upon me.
He spoils me.
He withholds no good things from me.
on my walk, i realized the reality that i lack no good thing.
i may think i “need” something. but the truth is i have all that i need and then some.
my thoughts turned toward Deuteronomy and those Israelites entering the promised the land oh so many years ago.
“But remember the LORD your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth, and so confirms his covenant, which he swore to your ancestors, as it is today.”
-Deuteronomy 8:18
oh remembering… it melts my anxiety faster than the m&m’s in my hand.
1. layne’s hair on our hitch hiking adventure.
2. “I put your luden’s in the refridgerator, the ants where attacking them.” -Layne
3. having to “create” a bandage for my blister with kleenex and scotch tape.
4. being pooped on by two birds in less than an hour.
5. recreating the above classy bandage while sitting on the beach in my swimsuit.
6. turning to look at the sunset and simultaneously spilling an entire glass of wine on my dress.
7. layne making fun of my backpack by smartly asking me if I was ready for school this morning.
8. wearing my rocket dogs with a dress all day.
9. discovering an ankle sock tan line after spending the afternoon at the beach. really?
10. layne (the amazingly talented photographer) ‘s inability to get more than our foreheads in the starbucks picture today.
I am working on strawberries this week. I bought them and planted them in some pots on our back deck. And funny as it may seem, I am learning from this experience.
1. Humility. My dad is a landscaper and tree farmer. You’d think I’d know a thing or two about simple gardening right? Nope. Nada. So I’ll be honest I felt a little foolish asking the simplest of questions at the nursery. I loaded a huge bag of soil onto my cart, while the employee stood watching me, only to realize later that you can pull your car up and they will load it for you. HA! I am sure she wanted to laugh as she watched me struggle to get that beast on the bottom of the cart.
But this is good for me. If we can only stay in the realms of our expertise all the time that’s not healthy. That’s not growth. We need to step out into new and uncomfortable places to expand our character and our knowlegde. Awkward as it may be, it’s good for us.
2. Investments. I went to Target at the beginning of the week and tried on a dress I’ve been looking at all season. I looked at the price tag and sighed. “When is this one gonna go on sale?” I thought. I gave it back to the lady and committed myself to watching the sale ads.
The next day the strawberry mission began. So I bought the plants, the soil, the pot. The grand total rang up to the exact amount of the dress. Bummer, I thought. What am I doing spending that on strawberry plants?
Then I began to realize how a poverty mentality can affect our view on investments. When we are living in a poverty mindset we only see value in things that give us immediate pleasure. We lose sight of the future and how we can sow into it today.
A kingdom mindset is willing to sacrifice things today in order to have a better tomorrow.
Oh strawberries, who knew?
The moment you’ve all been waiting for… 
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