Author: seasonsofgrace

In my mother’s laundry room hangs an apron. The apron is neatly sprinkled with artwork of myself and the peers of my kindergarten class. I haven’t looked at this apron in years. I started to study the last names, Patel, Gomez, DeLeon, the list goes on. I remembered the small faces that belonged to these names. You see I was undeniably the minority in the little class. At first glance this conglomeration of nations that filled my class was the result of the Dallas school district

enforcing busing, an attempt to integrate. But my mind started to wonder. Perhaps my love for other cultures and nations began in that small room nearly 20 years ago. Hispanic last names are the most common on the apron. Is it

simply coincidence that Latin America is one of my favorite places on earth? Or did the Lord begin something in that little

girl so long ago? I am finding more and more that Lord is always at work. I am asking Him to make His movements apparent to my sometimes blind eyes. I want to recognize the places that He has been. I want to see the weaving of His hand through this tapestry of my life.

“Is Anna going to die,” my niece asked my sister through glazed eyes.  I told Aubrey the day before that I would be going to where Jesus was born.  We quickly clarified that I was going to where Jesus was from not heaven!  All that to say, yesterday we bought our tickets to Israel.  I will be leaving January 12 and returning February 2. 

for more details visit the “Israel” page…

As I sit here, I listen to a familiar sound in my neighborhood.  It’s the jingle of “Do your ears hang low?” resounding from the ice cream truck parked out front.  Some may think it strange to have an ice cream truck present on December 15, but I call it comforting.  Because I love ice cream?  No, not necessarily, I have never actually bought anything from this ice cream man.  Actually, because it so accurately represents this season of my life, bizarre, yet surprisingly sweet.  This is my last night here in DC for I am not sure how long.  The past days have been spent reminiscing, celebrating, drinking coffee, packing, laughing, crying, rejoicing, mourning, praying, worshiping, and appreciating the goodness of the Lord this year.  By no means has this been an easy year, but it has been a full year.  Full of tears and full of laughter.  A year fully lived, fully embraced, and fully touched by the Lord.

At first glance it may appear stiff, green, frayed carpet, but look closer and so much else is found on this cold hard floor.  Memories dance through my head.  The way this room transforms.  There were many quiet still moments of waiting on Him staring out the window at the gray January days.  Then comes the coats dropped on this floor, the shedding of layers when returning from the cold hours spent praying at the wall (the Supreme Court).  The moments of us laughing, talking, singing, and praying together.  The middle of night moments come next, delirious moments, and funny comments made.  Something deeper, friendships forming, covenants confirmed, while fighting a battle so much bigger than our little lives could contain.  We learned how to fight in this room, to fight for the smallest lives, and also for each other.  The pacing, the weeping, the contending, the whispering, oh if these walls could talk, what would they say?  Consecration follows.  How much death lies here?  How many tears has this carpet absorbed?  What parts of my heart lie here, alongside boxes shattered, and theologies shook?  I laid on this floor this summer while deep truths penetrated my heart and mind, forever shifting paradigms and changing even our language.  Things have come full circle now as I sit here staring at the green carpet.  The weather outside is gray and rainy, the room is silent.  Once again I pour out my heart upon this floor, at the feet of my love, seeking, waiting, watching.  This floor is not a comfortable place.  It often makes me squirm underneath the hand of my father.  I can’t avoid it either.  There is something about this floor that releases all that is caged up within me, be it joy or mourning.  There has been many open heart surgeries performed on this table, but also a great healing has come.  What do I leave here in this place, and what will forever go with me?  Will I ever know how much life has come through the deaths?  Will I ever really understand all that has happened in and through me in this room?  Perhaps, not, but I will embrace each moment, be it great laughter or deep pain.  He is good through it all.  He is working all things together for my good, because I love Him, I do.

I am thankful for relationships.

I am thankful for a family who knows and loves the Lord.

I am thankful for the blessing of living in community.

I am thankful for being known for who I am and loved anyway.

I am thankful for redemption.

I am thankful for the blood of Jesus.

I am thankful for every lesson learned this year.

I am thankful for every tear cried.

I am thankful for every ounce of provision.

I am thankful for the simple things in life.

I am thankful for every memory made.

I am thankful for every burst of laughter.

I am thankful for dress-up parties.

I am thankful for silliness and the joy it brings to life.

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace.

And be thankful.
Colossians 3:15

Well, the hustle of the elections is dying down in the city, and I thought it might be time to share some of my thoughts. Today, as a team we processed a little as to how we feel about the results. I enjoyed hearing the wisdom and understanding from different brothers and sisters in the room. The verdict is America made it’s choice, clear and simple. It is a great victory for African-Americans no doubt. We will pray for this man, possibly more than any other leader. (1 Timothy 2:1-2) Yet we do not fail to realize that his values and the principles we choose to live by do not align. When given the choice we will stand for righteousness, and fight for life. We see the value in the most vulnerable lives in our nation. We also realize that hope for us as well as these children does not rest in the President-elect, but in God alone. So we will “press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 3:14)

Where does that leave me?

The day after the elections we were having a worship time and I was reading through the Psalms. This verse stood out to me.

One thing I ask of the LORD,
this is what I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the LORD
all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD
and to seek him in his temple.

Psalm 27:4

Something struck me. This verse is basically my job description. In turn, I have not failed. I have sought the Lord with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength this year. And he promises that “you will find Him if you search for Him with all your heart and all your soul.” (Deuteronomy 4:29) I continue to seek the Lord, and to find Him. In so many new ways and new places, from feelings within me to in the faces of new friends I met in Pennsylvania, I have found Him. And nothing this world has to offer can compare to Him.

Finally, please be praying with me as I seek the Lord concerning 2009. My commitment to DC ends December 15. I will spending time in prayer over the next couple days and covet your prayers. I am wrestling a bit with the Lord, but hopefully will quickly surrender to His will. I will keep you updated!

“Less of me and more of you.” From time to time I hear this in the prayer room. I would have to say this may be the best summary of what the Lord taught me in PA. It was my first time leading a group of peers, and I learned quickly that this was key. One morning I got up early to spend time with the Lord. I had grand thoughts of sitting down and planning out the day ahead. The Lord quickly humbled me in the form of a question. “Are you leading this trip, or is my Spirit?” I repented to the Lord for my attempt to take over, and went back to my team. I looked at the team a few hours later and admitted, I am not sure what we are supposed to do today, and I need you and the Lord to help me figure that out. The Lord very clearly showed us what He wanted us to do that day, I just needed to step out of the way. There are many other things the Lord is faithfully teaching me, but for now I will just summarize with this verse.

He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.

Micah 6:8

“Humility before God is nothing if not proved in humility before men.”
Andrew Murray

Well, this weekend was packed full of opportunities. We had dinner with friends, led worship, prayed for the nation, worshiped at a river, and even shared at a church instead of the sermon. The Lord has been so good to us since we have been here in Pittsburgh. I am amazed at the connections that the Lord has brought our way. I feel so blessed to not only enjoy the beautiful fall scenery here but to be able to see the beauty of God in people’s hearts. Our schedule is often last minute, the Lord is teaching me how to walk in step with His spirit. Sometimes I try and plan things out, until I realize I am not the one in charge here. There are little gifts along the way, things like bright red trees, warm apple cider, cozy farmer’s markets, and belly laughs. God you are good.

I want to take a moment to share with you a story from this week. Monday, I felt it would be good for us to go a university here in the Pittsburgh area and pray. So that night we wrote out a list of local universities. We weren’t sure where to start so we tore up the paper and decided to draw three. One of the girls grabbed the coffee pot, instead of a bowl, and gave it a quick shake. One fell out, proceeded by 2 more. Pittsburgh University was one of which. So we decided the next day to go and pray there. The next morning I was on the phone with a local pastor’s wife. I told her where we were going and she got excited. She told me that she was going to be sharing there that night about justice and invited us to come. We went to the campus and settled down with the guitar on the Heinz chapel steps facing a building called the Cathedral of Learning. We worshiped and prayed there for a while. Later that night we met the pastor’s wife and went with her while she shared. The group she was sharing with met in the Cathedral. The next morning at the grocery store the newspaper caught my eye. The front page boldly read, “Cathedral of Lights.” I couldn’t believe my eyes. We had no idea, but while we were in the building there was a light show right outside lighting up the entire cathedral. The previous afternoon we had been praying for God’s light and truth to penetrate this campus. We didn’t know the Lord would take us so literally!