mrsannamaher.com

Transition.  You hear it all the time.  We are “in transition”, “about to make a big transition”, “just came out of a massive transition”.

The beauty of life is that it’s fluid.  Things are always changing, growing, and expanding.  As we move forward and advance in this life, you can’t avoid transition.  And despite the negatives of transition, most of us crave it.  As believers, we have the promise that “He works all things together” and we are moving “from glory to glory”.

Let’s be honest here though.  Even in advancement, transition isn’t always easy or fun.  Just ask a woman in labor about “transition”.  It’s not usually our favorite place.  Especially if we are taking about westerners.  We are the “are we there yet” culture.  We don’t have time for process as a culture, so how do we learn to navigate the in-between seasons.

I am in a massive transition.  I have been single my entire adult life, and about to make the transition into  being a wife.  Last week, I felt the twinges of transition.  I cried in my fiancés arms about leaving my roommates.  He tried to understand and comfort me, but I was in grief.  I’ve lived with these girls for 5 years, and although I am walking into the fulfillment of my lifelong dream, I was hurting.  The beloved Anne of Green Gables might have said I was “in the depths of despair”.  Of course I am NEVER that dramatic though…

I think grief is a healthy part of life, but in the midst of this I found a key to successfully moving forward.

THANKFULNESS.

I started to thank the Lord every time I started to feel that twinge.  I thanked him for years of loyal friendship, for adventures all over the world, for insane provision, for a loving family, for the future that awaits me.

It’s easy to focus on what we don’t have, what we long for, or what others have that we don’t, but that’s a long dark road.  As I transition, I choose thankfulness.  I choose to be thankful for ALL that I do have rather than focus on the discomforts of entering a new land.

It reminds me of the Israelites and how the Lord told them over and over to remember.  That was their key to cultivating the gift of the promised land.

It’s is our weapon for maintaing peace in an unknown place.  It is a constant reminder of His faithfulness.

“Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.”

Colossians 3:15,17

“Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.”

Colossians 4:2

I know thanksgiving isn’t quite yet, maybe I am feeling it a bit more since I am marrying a Canadian.

Happy thanksgiving my Canadian friends and family.  I am thankful for you!

Today in the store I overheard a woman a few rows over.  She said something to the effect of “ugh, your are such a man, I thought I trained you better.”

Does she have any idea how disturbing that statement is?

The sad part is that in a much more discreet way it is often the consensus of women.  Somewhere along the journey to finding our voice we often silence our counterparts.  Or better yet, we attempt to train them out of their manhood.

We place our hands over their mouths through less obvious maneuvers, in an attempt to being heard.

A friend used to tell me that a man always wants his woman to stay the same while a woman often tries to change her man.

I was thinking about this a couple weeks back while meeting with my pastors wife.  She cautioned me to be careful not to try to change my man, because then one day I might look up and wonder where the man I fell in love with went.

“There aren’t many Chucks out there” she said.

I fell in love with my man before we ever started dating.  I didn’t know that’s what it was.  I just knew that when he wasn’t at a party, something was missing.  There wasn’t the spark, the flair, the excitement level even felt lower.  He’s a bit of an entertainer, and he’s always had the ability to make me laugh until my stomach aches.  He is wise, kind, and considerate.  I watched him do life for over a year before the romance came.

The memories of how things started for us is so important for me to remember in those moments where I find myself trying to change the very one I fell in love with.  I realized a few weeks back that I, like the lady in the store today was trying to make my man more like me.

Don’t get me wrong, I like me.  I enjoy me.  But let’s be honest, two me’s, makes a very boring relationship.

I NEED HIM.  I need his perspective.  I need his moments of entertaining, even when it’s just an audience of one.  I need his quest for adventure.  I need his protection and wisdom in the midst of my emotional moments.  I need him to make me laugh out of my grumpy moments and help me realize how ridiculous they can be.

I was reading a marriage book where the author flat out said, ladies if you are looking for someone like you, get a roommate, not a husband.

When we first started dating, we couldn’t believe how much we had in common, and now we are discovering the ways that we are different.  In this, I am choosing to embrace the differences that make us man and woman.

I am choosing to believe that our differences compliment each other, that they bring balance and stability to our relationship and to what we are building together.

Last week, we went to yellowstone.  Let me tell you my man LOVES to see wild animals.  We saw bison, deer, antelope, and moose wondering through some woods.  He jumped out of the car when we saw the moose.  I was completely comfortable with my view from the comfy climate controlled car, but he needed a better view.  I love this about him.  

He once climbed a snow-capped mountain in converse tennis shoes.  Now that’s determination!

He brings vision and adventure to my sometimes quite practical view of life!

Don’t get me wrong, I am all for woman having a voice.  I believe that we carry a unique piece to completely the picture.  In no way am I putting women down.  All I am saying is that do we really have to put our men down in order to be lifted up.

And I am blessed.  My man proudly hands me the microphone quite often as we travel the world sharing the love of Jesus. 

 

Lord give us grace to appreciate the difference between men and women and to embrace the complimenting differences in how we are wired!

“Humble yourself before the Lord and he will lift you up.”

James 4:10

 

Well, Redding has decided it’s time for Winter.  We’ve be spoiled with sunny days for much of the so called winter and this week the forecast says one thing… RAIN.

And I am actually ok with it…  I think it can be a good reminder to just sit and be with Him.  Life can get so full that even quiet times have to be scheduled in, but I am pretty sure God also enjoys the moments where in the midst of life we just stop and sit with Him.

Most of us have been around toddlers at some point or another, and I think we would all agree that they are busy.  The world has recently become theirs and they’ve got exploring to do.  I don’t know about you, but the moments when the toddlers in my life stop for a moment and crawl in my lap are some of my favorites.  The other night I was watching a friends kids and for a few minutes they both sat in my lap in an oversized recliner while we read books.  My heart was so full and all seemed well with the world.

I can’t help but wonder, does the Lord feel the same.  Oh, the delight He takes as He watches us go throughout our days, but does His heart melt when we take a moment to just simply be with Him.

Yesterday I took a moment to do this, and turned to Psalm 139…

Here are a few things I think we can learn from David-

If you ever feel like you aren’t “known” let me remind you…

You have searched me, LORD, 
   and you know me. (1)

If you ever feel like you aren’t “seen” let me remind you…

You know when I sit and when I rise; 
   you perceive my thoughts from afar. 
You discern my going out and my lying down; 
   you are familiar with all my ways. (2-3)

If you ever feel alone let me remind you…

You hem me in behind and before, 
   and you lay your hand upon me. 

 Where can I go from your Spirit? 
   Where can I flee from your presence? 
 If I go up to the heavens, you are there; 
   if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. 
If I rise on the wings of the dawn, 
   if I settle on the far side of the sea, 
even there your hand will guide me, 
   your right hand will hold me fast. (5, 7-10)

If you ever feel like your life was an accident, let me remind you…

 For you created my inmost being; 
   you knit me together in my mother’s womb. 

 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; 

   your works are wonderful, 
   I know that full well. 
 My frame was not hidden from you 
   when I was made in the secret place, 
   when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. 
 Your eyes saw my unformed body; 
   all the days ordained for me were written in your book 
   before one of them came to be. (13-16)

You are seen.

You are known.

You are wanted.

So although the rain isn’t so good for my hair, it’s really good for my heart.

 

May your day be filled with the awareness of Him.  May your Spirit be strengthened as you realize more and more the delight He takes in you.

“Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.”  Psalm 42:5

Three times in chapter 42 and 43 of Psalms, David commands himself to put his hope in God.  The man after God’s own heart recognized the he needed to command himself to apply truth in order for his emotional state to change.  He was well aware that truth in the innermost parts brings about the external change we often long for.

I’ve been on a journey of pursuing hope for myself, my relationships, and my future.  Often my emotions are screaming at me telling me that they define my reality, and the truth comes in the form of that gentle whisper.

A while back I was laying in bed worrying, ahem I mean thinking, about the future.  I felt the Lord say to me, “Anna the difference between you fearing the unknown and embracing mystery is wrapped up in how you see my as your Father.”

I thought back to being a kid.  I was quite carefree and struggle to remember moments of worry.   I was challenged to a place of childlikeness and expectation.

What if we get exactly what we hope, dream, or expect?

Somewhere along the journey we can loose the ability to dream, and replace it with a fear of disappointment.  We let fear of disappointment silence our hearts desires.

Psalms 84:11 says, “he withholds no good thing from those whose walk is blameless.”  If you feel He’s withholding something, chances are it’s actually protection because He has something better for you.

Our focus should be His character, His goodness rather than our circumstances.

“Then you will look and be radiant,

your heart will throb and swell with joy;

the wealth on the seas will be brought to you,
to you the riches of the nations will come. ”

Isaiah 60:5

He wants our hearts to throb and swell with joy.  He wants our emotions to be stirred to the place of happiness and excitement!!  Think of Christmas morning, does a parent hope that their child saunters down the stairs in a calm, cool, collected manner to open their presents?  No parents  take great joy in seeing their children race down the stairs with a smile bigger than life and excitement impossible to contain!

This Monday morning, I pray that we are awakened to the reality that He is a really good Father who loves to give His kids gifts.  I pray that our hope (confident expectation of good) is stirred to a new place.    I pray that dreams are released and we will walk in new revelation of what it means to embrace the mystery.  I pray that we realize to deeper levels just how good He really is!

 

a couple weeks ago, i was listening to an old amy grant christmas cd.  i don’t know about you but i grew up on that album. and i can be a wee bit sentimental about these kinds of things…

it’s filled with upbeat songs that bring back the childlike excitement of christmas.  the songs fill you with hope and joy of the season.

somewhere towards the end of the cd, the music mellows and the song that gets me everytime plays…

breath of heaven.

if you haven’t heard it, it’s a song about mary and her journey carrying that precious baby. it takes you away to a distant time and place.  there are no christmas lights or santa clauses, just a young girl and a young man on their way to bethlehem. 

as i thought about this song again, a new thought came to me.  i once heard of a woman who would notice with each pregnancy an increase in the gift that the specific child carried.

it made me think of mary. 

was she more aware of deeper things while she carried the Savior in her young body?

i think so…

was she overcome by compassion when she passed by the less fortunate?

was she more aware of injustice in the world around her?

was she stirred to somehow bring hope to the broken world in which she walked?

was she aware that within her dwelt the One who would overcome all of this?

then my thoughts turned to us some 2000 years later.  and a familiar verse.

“To them God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory.” -colossians 1:27

not only did He dwell in mary.  He chooses to dwell in us today. 

do we carry His love?

are we moved with compassion?

do we walk in the gifts that He carries?

you may be thinking i am inadequate to carry this Man… she did too.

“Do you wonder
As you watch my face
If a wiser one, should of had my place”

my prayer for you tonight is that the breath of heaven is filling you now.  i pray that you would be filled with a fresh awareness of His sweet presence that dwells within you.

merry christmas 2011!!

“Breath of Heaven
Hold me together
Be forever near me
Breath of Heaven

Breath of Heaven
Lighten my darkness
Pour over me, your holyness
For your holy Breath of Heaven”

 

I haven’t had a day off in too long…  My room, my house, and my diet for the past week have been screaming at me.  Last night I finally made it to the grocery store to by real live foods.  I made vegetable soup and juiced organic carrot juice and green lemonade this morning.  4 loads of laundry, one bathroom, and one kitchen attacked, all the while a still, small voice, said, “rest”.  

After this next thing, I kept telling that very patient small voice.  Finally, I was vacuuming my room, and the circuit blew.  All the power went out for my side of the house.  I searched the garage and my roommates closets for the breaker with no luck.  

Fine, I’ll sit with you, still small voice, for awhile.

I left the vacuum in the middle of the room, and grabbed my journal and Bible.  I felt Him say, I want to tell you who you are.  I want to define you.  I want to be the loudest voice in your life.

Hmm, so much talking, but how often to I forget to listen to the voice that matters the most?

 Four pages in the journal later, with a hand that couldn’t write fast enough, I was amazed.

How often I forget to “be still and know that He is God (Psalm 46:10)”. He is the wisest.  He is the best.  He is for me.  He wants to talk too.  

He doesn’t like to be left out.

He “makes her (me) secure forever” (Psalm 48:10).

He is my anchor, and I don’t ever want to leave Him out.

Dear Jesus, thank you for reminding me of all this through the breaker going out. I love you so much. Amen.

I am re-posting this one from last year, just in case someone out there really needs it.  As I read through status updates and have conversations with friends, I think it might be relevant.

Love, Anna

With teary eyes, I sat down with 2 upbeat kids to read them their bedtime story.  Generally, I am a kid person, and have a high value for engaging with them.  This night I was struggling to get to 7:30 bedtime.  I was quite relieved when the 3 year old insisted I play mermaids and sharks with her, only because it required getting into the bed and pulling the covers over my head.  The mercy of God can come in such strange ways.

The little boy handed me a comic Bible.  I told him to pick “one” story from the book.  I am not a first-timer here.  He chose 2 Samuel 12.  It is the story of David and Bathsheba’s first child.  Every kids favorite Bible story right?

Ha ha, I love my life.

As I swallowed huge lumps in my throat asking God to hold back my tears for another 10 minutes until I shut their door, He spoke to me through this comic Bible story.

The story begins with Samuel telling David a story.  The story is about a rich man who steals a very poor man’s sheep.  David becomes furious and demands that man be punished, the wise Samuel quickly informs him that he is that man.  He stole Uriah’s wife and killed him.  Samuel goes on to tell David that this sin will cost him the life of his first son with Bathsheba.

David repents, refuses to eat, and storms the gates of heaven with prayers for his infant son who soon became sick.

One week later, the child passes away.

The servants lurk in the corners of the room afraid to tell him the news.  Let’s picture David in the moment.  He has not eaten, he has not shaved or showered, and probably hasn’t slept much either.  I think I’d be a little afraid too, of the scent if nothing less.

David sees them and he bluntly asked, “is the child dead?”.  When they reply that indeed the child has passed, he gets up, eats, takes a shower and goes to the house of the Lord and he worships.

I want to stop here for a moment, because this fascinates me.  Here’s a few reasons why…

1. David believed in God’s goodness enough to cry out for the desire of his heart.

2. He repented, but chose not to walk in condemnation for his sin.

3. He didn’t change his view of God’s character when he didn’t get what he asked for.

4. He still believed God was good and worthy to be worshipped.

5. Instead of doubting, asking questions or walking in shame, he worshipped.

6. He focused his attention on the Lord rather than the emotions he felt.

I can’t help but be challenged by David at this moment.  Are these perhaps some of the reasons that he is the “man after God’s heart”?

What are my responses to disappointment?

Do I make a theology out of what happened to me?

Do I still believe He is good all the time?

Do I value worshipping Him above how I feel?

The story has an interesting and happy ending that I think isn’t coincidence, but God’s response to the pure heart of David.

David went to comfort Bathsheba, and she became pregnant again.  They had Solomon a man of peace, who “God loved”.

We’ve all experienced sin and disappointment in walking on this earth, can I ask you today how you handle yours?

Is there anything you can learn from David?

I was reading Exodus a while back and reading through the design of the temple.

I suddenly felt justified in my affinity for nice things.

God was quite specific with His colors and materials in His house.

I am simply made in His image that’s why I care about design.

As a teenager, my favorite tv shows where TLC’s “A Baby Story” and “Trading Spaces.”  I was able to live out both of these shows when I worked at a maternity for a couple years.  I got to be a birthing coach for 5 girls as well as re-do most of the girl’s rooms in the beautiful 10,000 square foot house!

Anyway, back on track…

The other night we were singing the song “Beautiful Things” by  Gungor and I just realized once again how our God loves restoration.  I’ve been searching all kinds of home blogs lately.  I love seeing the way people take trash and turn it into treasures.

I was thinking the other day how I wanted an old door for our living room.  I gave up on the thought not sure where you find one?

That same day I got a text from my roommate about a project she’d discovered.

Guess what I came home to?

this…

Yes, Jesus loves me so much.

I love when He answers thoughts, not even prayers, just passing thoughts.

Hmm, I love Him too, a lot.

The chorus of “Beautiful Things” says-

“You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us”

-Gungor

My thoughts feel a bit all over the place at the moment, bear with me, I have a little head cold.

My point is, God loves restoration.  He loves to make beautiful things, just like I do.  I love to find something that others might think is worthless and turn it into a creation I am proud of.

I’ve been reading through Jeremiah 33 lately, and just today connected my recent revelations.

It starts out like this, “While Jeremiah was still confined in the courtyard of the guard, the word of the LORD came to him a second time…”

Can you relate?

Do you feel confined?

Do you feel limited?

Dare I even ask, do you feel hopeless?

Well, hold on, cause I have some good news for you.

In verse 6 the Lord says, “Nevertheless, I will bring health and healing to it; I will heal my people and will let them enjoy abundant peace and security.”

Health, healing, abundant peace and security are coming your way.

He makes beautiful things.

Verse 9 goes on to say, “Then this city will bring me renown, joy, praise and honor before all nations on earth that hear of all the good things I do for it; and they will be in awe and will tremble at the abundant prosperity and peace I provide for it.”

I am tempted to copy a whole lot more of this scripture, but I will let you dig into it more yourself.

For now, I want to encourage you to take these promises of restorations for yourself, for your family, for your city, and for you health, prosperity, and peace.

Especially in the areas that seem quite the opposite.

He is good, really good.

There are promises of restoration just waiting to be claimed.

Go ahead, take them!

A little more room re-do today….

I fixed the yellow on my desk and painted an OLD bookshelf.

It is my only piece of furniture back home, and one with some history.  Dad told me that mom bought it from a friend in the 70’s.

It was mauve when I acquired it from a 90’s bedroom of my sister.  But when I sanded it a bit, a bright green from a “jungle room” my mom created for my brothers in the 70’s.

She’s so creative.

That room was gone by the time I rolled onto the scene in the mid-80’s.  But I always wished I’d seen that room.  Rumor has it there was a huge tree painted across one of the corners.  My mother, the artist, if only the walls of that “Leave it to Beaver” house we grew up in could talk.  It is a continuous debate between my mom and dad how long a room should go before being re-painted.  Haha.  I think I inherited my mother’s love of change.

So, my room is making me happy this monday.  It’s feeling crisp as the cool breeze blowing through my open window.

Now for a couple pics…

This slideshow requires JavaScript.