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Chuck and I got married a little over two years ago and we are on our third insurance plan. Needless to say it is easy to forget what is covered. They sent me a book late last year full of details of what is and is not covered. When I call a doctors office I go through the process again. When we get a bill I often have friendly dialogues with our insurance company over what is their responsibility and what is ours.

Last night while sharing on Psalm 103, the thought struck me, we need to know what our benefits are of being a believer! We have a book full of benefits that are available to us!

Are there benefits you are trying to cover on your own that Christ has already provided for you?

King David gives us quite the list of these benefits…”Bless the LORD, O my soul, And forget not all His benefits: Who forgives all your iniquities, Who heals all your diseases, Who redeems your life from destruction, Who crowns you with lovingkindness and tender mercies, Who satisfies your mouth with good things, So that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.” (‭Psalms‬ ‭103‬:‭2-5‬ NKJV)

Why do we often, like David, forget our benefits?

We have an enemy who has been trying to convince us God isn’t who He says He is since His first appearance back in the garden. Your circumstances don’t determine your benefits. (Unless you let them!) The Word of God should be where we discover the benefits that are available to us.

What benefits is God revealing to you today?

I encourage you today to dig into your book of benefits today and discover the promises waiting to invade your current season.

As I put the chili together on the stove, I felt a stirring to come to this place.  Guests will be here in an hour, but my mind keeps drifting to those who have experienced loss this year.

I love the new year.  I love fresh starts.  I spent the day scrubbing my house.  I still have piles to sort and organize but today was  a start.

I think maybe subconsciously I needed to start the year with the grime of 2014 behind me.

There have been wins and there have been losses.  There has been hope deferred and trees of life.  I have tasted of both, and watched those around me bounce between the extremes.

I have watched people walk through the loss of a child, whether stillborns, miscarriages, failed adoptions.  I have watched hearts break over a life not fully lived.  I have ached on behalf of both friends and strangers whose journey I have seen.

I cannot imagine the pain of celebrating this Christmas without a child that should have been there.  I cannot imagine the pain of that loss nor the longing for just one more moment.

I also cannot say that this year has been without pain or hope deferred.  I tie the year up with both the good and the bad.

If you have walked a hard journey in 2014, know that I am praying for you.  You are on my heart this New Years Eve, and I am praying for radical redemption in 2015.

I am praying for your broken heart to find comfort in the Comforter that is more that you could ask or imagine.  I praying that His hands touch each sore spot tonight and bring healing like only He can.

Here are three ways to find hope again after experiencing loss-

1. GRIEVE- There really is nothing like a good cry.  Sometimes you just have to go there.  I never want to go there.  Its never at a convenient moment that my huge eyes fill with tears.  But it’s important to go there.  It’s important to feel the pain, share the pain, and get the support you need to get THROUGH the pain.

Weeping may tarry for the night,
but joy comes with the morning.

Psalm 30:5

2. MEDIATE on God’s goodness-  In our darkest moments, the enemy wants nothing more than for us to blame God.  Remember who He is.  Bad things happen, but that doesn’t mean it was “His will” for you.  He is a good Father who loves to give His kids good gifts.  Remember that when the enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy and then tries to get you to believe God did it.

He fulfills the desires of those who fear him;

he hears their cry and saves them.

Psalm 145:19

3. DREAM again-  After we experience loss, often all we want to do is to give up.  Job wanted to crawl under a rock and die.  Can you blame him?!  But remember at the end of Job’s life God restored him and he had more than what he had in the beginning.

And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ,

after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you

strong, firm and steadfast.

1 Peter 5:10

After you have taken the time to journey through grief, meditate on His goodness, take some time to write down your dreams.  What has God put a desire in you to do?  Turn your hope back on.  Your hope level doesn’t have to be based on what happened in 2014.  Your hope level can and should be based on who He is not what has happened to you.

It’s a new year and a fresh start, praying for those who experienced loss is 2014 to be abundantly blessed this coming year.

I opened the door to my third story attic room at the maternity home, and I welcomed her in.  She was probably around 7 months pregnant and one of the scariest people I’d ever met.  I offered her the oversized chair and popped up on the window seat.

Then it came.

Like fire out her mouth she started to tell me all the reasons why she hated me.  And this girl had endurance, her speech was at least 45 minutes.  Forty five minutes of why I was a terrible person.

Finally, the last sentence was something to the effect of, “I hate you because you are everything I wanted to be.”

The dam broke.

The root finally exposed.

And until the wee hours of the morning I watched her tough facade crumble, and I felt the very Spirit of God sweep into the room to wrap His arms around His girl.  Man, He LOVES His girls.  Turns out she was the scared one, and oh how He loved this scared girl.

Compassion flooded into my heart, and suddenly I was able to see the most tender parts of this girls hurting heart.  I had access to places that had been behind steel bars for quite sometime.  I don’t remember our exact conversations, but I’ll never forget that she left different.

What I learned that night is…

We often choose to run from or shut out scary people in our lives.  We reason our way out of the relationships.  We have good grounds to create enough boundaries to keep them OUT.  We reject them one more time.

Scary people are usually the ones who need us the most.

Scary people are usually the ones who are hurting the most.

Scary people usually make an “issue” out of something that is really far from the true “issue.”

Scary people are usually broken.

Scary people are usually more scared than the one they are scaring.

We have to really know the truth about who we are to love scary people successfully.

Scary people don’t get to define us, they don’t usually admit who we truly are.

We have to be brave to love scary people.

Our bravery may be the key to their breakthrough.

Unconditional love turns scary people into vulnerable people we can lead to wholeness.

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment.

The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

1 John 4:18

How do you respond to scary people in your life?

It was just like a normal Sunday.  The service ended, and we went up front to pray for people.  The second or third person I prayed for was a middle aged normal looking man.  He had gray hair, tall, normal build, and very normal clothes.  Normal, everything about the man seemed normal.  He extended his hand and introduced himself as Randall.

He said, “can you pray for me for financial breakthrough?”.

My pastor has been preaching a sermon on “prosperity with a purpose.”  So this was a common request this week.  I prayed over him.  I prayed for new mindsets and strategies from heaven on how to make income.  He nodded his head, thanked me, and I prayed for the next person in line.

A friend and I went for a walk this morning.  When we got to a light near the bookstore, I looked over and there he was.

Randall.

There he was holding a sign with words I can’t even remember, and my heart sank.  I called out to him, and he complimented me and my friend.  I remembered his name and that seemed to hit him deep.  He smiled.

We made our way across the street, my friend pushed her baby in the stroller, and suddenly “normal” felt so far from this man.  I had to do something.  I reached down for my wallet and grabbed a little cash.  I ran it back across the street to him and prayed a prayer of multiplication over that $5.  He smiled, thanked me, and seemed a bit taken back.

I may never know Randall’s story.  Hours later, he still weighs on my heart.  We are praying for him tonight, that he has a warm bed to sleep in, food in his stomach, and that breakthrough is near.

I live in a town where there an unusual amount of homeless people per capita.  Often I’ve sadly found myself desensitized.  Lately, Jesus has been doing something in my heart.

We grabbed a case of vitamin water and a box of granola bars the other night at Costco.  So we can do something, give something, and believe that the things that pass through our hands are blessed.

We can believe that hearts can shift.

We can have compassion rather than judgement.

We can be generous rather than think we know how they will spend the money.

We can believe that our actions communicate value and love.

We can give because we are generous, not just when someone deserves it.  (Or when we “think” they deserve it.)

Whoever is generous to the poor lends to the Lord, and he will repay him for his deed.

Proverbs 19:17

Give to the one who begs from you, and do not refuse the one who would borrow from you.

Matthew 5:42

Today was one of those days where you can leave your windows open ALL day.

where indoor and outdoor space become one.

where you can hear your neighbors coming and going or the boy next door playing basketball.

Today was one of those days where I didn’t leave the house ALL day.

where I put away our laundry.

where I cleaned our room.

where I made chili for dinner, baked cookies, and made kombucha.

Today was one of those day where I didn’t seen anyone but my man.

except when I saw my neighbor who told me my face looked puffy.

and also let me borrow their leaf blower.

Today was one of those days where our lawn got mowed.

Today was one of those days where I caught up on emails.

Today was one of those days I love.

Thank you for reading through all the reasons why I loved today.

As I sit in my office/guest room I can hear the sounds of ash hitting the window.  I look outside and see the leaves of our pear tree and the palms across the street rustle in the wind.

We just drove home from Oregon, and I was the closest I have ever been to a raging forest fire.

We drove down into the valley where we live and past a lake that is ghastly low.  The planes buzzed above us carrying water from the lake to the forest.

The phrase “peace be still” crosses my mind and slowly I utter it.  I am no Smokey the Bear, but I am pretty sure the winds aren’t helping those brave men and women fighting the fire.

I am reminded of Jesus words to us about faith as small as mustard seed and being able to move mountains.

Sometimes I wonder if the reason we as believers don’t experience the authority we carry is because we simply don’t risk.

We like safe.

This weekend a young boy came to me for prayer about believing in miracles.  A few moments later, we had the opportunity to pray for his mom’s legs (one was shorter than the other and this is often the cause of lower back pain).  She sat down in the chair, and I was faced with a choice.

Do I pray and command her leg to grow out, OR do I take a risk and have this young guy (who I knew had very little faith) utter the same words?

Do I put my faith in myself or in a BIG God?

I choose the later.  So, one time he said “In the name of Jesus leg grow out”.  And within a matter of seconds her legs were even again or perhaps for the first time, and the back pain she had for years was significantly lessoned.

The point of the story is God is AMAZING.  He is so eager to work through our hands to show people how much He loves them.

It’s not really about having faith in our faith, it’s about having faith in a God who is better than we could ask or imagine!  It’s about trusting that He loves to show up!  It’s about how good He is, not how worthy we are.  It’s not about our imperfections and failures, it’s about Him.

And to Him, we are worth it.

He is just waiting for opportunities to pour out His love through His kids.  Yes He is God and He can sovereignly reach down from heaven and invade someones life.

Sometimes He does.

But often I find He likes to work through us.   He loves to show up when we take risks.

Who can you love today?

What storms can you declare “peace be still” over?

(And please pray with us for rain in California and for these fires to STOP!)