mrsannamaher.com

unconditional. part 2

have you ever had a conversation with someone that quickly escalates and you find yourself responding in their same elevated tone?

i recently had a phone conversation like this… and after hanging up i was like what happened there. i didn’t like it.

but in it i realized that something had happened to me over the past few years and i had let a muscle i once valued and cultivated grow weak.

i used to work at a maternity home. now with this let me give you some context. have you ever tried to reason with a 15 year old girl? (i can say this because i once was one).

okay so if you have then just imagine that she is also pregnant and all those irrational hormones are also flowing through her small body. then on top of that add that she is facing some life-altering decisions…

will i parent this child for the rest of my life?

or will i place this child for adoption and face the pain of letting go of all i know and choosing what i believe to be the best option for my baby?

now that you have the picture i think you will understand that interactions with these girls where NOT always calm, rational, and in a controlled tone. and while i lived and worked in that house God taught me some amazing lessons and tools.

He taught me that we don’t honor people because of what they’ve done or not done. we honor because that person is made in HIS image. they are valuable. they are worth it. even before they know it, and we as a staff got the incredible privilege of demonstrating that day in and day out, and sometimes night in and night out too!

at first i was lousy at it, but over the years i learned… girl BLOWS up in the kitchen… okay pull her into the office and simply ask in a sweet tone, “hey sweetie, what’s going on”. that was usually followed by tears and her explaining how scared she was about the decisions before her, which was a precious and vulnerable moment to love her WITHOUT conditions.

i had this pretty well down, there was one time that i told a girl to “shut up” on our way to church… but that’s a story for another time. tag for that one.. #hownottodoit

since those days my ministry has changed and for the most part my interactions with people are incredible and honoring and all that feel good stuff.

but this phone call reminded me of something so important. i honor people because they are valuable.

period.

it’s not because of how they treat me or how amazing they think i am.

it’s not their sweet tone.

it’s not their behavior.

it’s simply because they are made in His image .

here’s the gorgeous part of it… this makes me powerful and not a victim to other peoples behavior! initially with my girls at the maternity home, i was so afraid of them. i was afraid of blow ups and intimidation.

but honor has a way of diffusing that, and that is beautiful and glorious.

let’s all do a little experiment and label it “unconditional”.

we get to be powerful. we get to be in control of our emotions even when others might not be.

unconditional.

my birthday was wednesday. and thus commences the last year of my 20s.

every year i like to take a little time with a cup of coffee and reflect on the previous year and then start to dream about the next…

in the midst of this i am once again processing the love and grace of God. i recently wrote about grace and today i want to write a little about love.

i have been drawn to ephesians lately, and i want to cling to the promise that He can “do immeasurably more than all we can ask or imagine according to his power that is at work within us” for this next year.

i administrated a conference this week and with that i got to hear some amazing men of God share from their hearts. one of them said, “there are none of the promises He has made to me that are dependent on my behavior”.

wow, that pricks the strategic achiever in me and in the same instant forces me to take a deep breath and let go.

today i was struck by paul’s prayers for those in ephesus to “grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge-that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God”.

selah.

that’s beautiful. filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

it’s not about my pushing. it’s not about my striving. it’s not about my efforts.

it’s about my yielding.

it’s about me clearing the space in my busy schedule. it’s about me making time and space to be filled.

that’s what i want this year… to know his love more.

to be filled to the measure.

to trust that He has the power to do what He has promised, even more than i’ve asked or could imagine!

to rest in His love and power.

to allow His love and power to simply flow through me and onto those who encounter me.

to embrace the basics and leave the complex.

to accept His love without conditions and to allow Him to teach me how to love in the same way.

so happy birthday to me and here’s to my best year YET!

our little kitchen makeover

We’ve had a busy few weeks here at the Maher house.

I added up that we traveled 20 days in the month of March. That did include a week in Hawaii, so don’t worry it’s not all work and no play. 🙂

And for 12 days, we had Chuck’s mom and sister come out for a California visit. While they were here we decided to tackle a long anticipated project, our kitchen cabinets. His mom has done it a few times, and it felt a bit more manageable with her help. It was a much bigger project than I anticipated, and thank God for that, or I may have backed out.

I thought you might enjoy a photo journal of the project…

We are pretty tired now, and head out on Friday night for 10 days in the Great Lakes Area. Prayers are appreciated for this time that it will be filled with grace and His presence! We are making some adjustments and learning to find a rhythm with our travel and home time.

grace.

“But God demonstrated his own love for us in this: while we were still sinners Christ died for us.”

Romans 5:8

I tripped on this verse a bit this morning. You know how you can be reading along and then it’s like you hit a snag in the carpet and you can’t seem to get to the next verse.

“While we were still sinners…” Wow. That’s convicting and humbling in the same instant. Somehow years of religion and familiarity can lead me so far from the basics of faith.

I don’t know about you, but how often I need the reminder that salvation is a GIFT. I haven’t earned a sliver of it through my good behavior. Salvation is also free to the crack addict on the corner. Jesus doesn’t discriminate. He freely gives, dispute our behavior.

The second part to this is that reminder that I am to freely give, just as it’s been freely given to me. And the conviction is not in the giving of material possessions for me, not the giving is done in deeper places that you may not be able to see.

I have to ask myself some hard questions.

First, am I freely giving my husband forgiveness when he asks? Candidly, too often it takes me way longer than it should.

Am I freely giving the man on the corner holding that sign something as simple as eye contact and a smile?

Am I freely giving people in my life the benefit of the doubt?

Religion is about meeting requirements.

How often to I function in this as I interact with others?

Grace is about giving based on who we are not on what others have done.

Jesus was able to give the gift of salvation and abundant life because of what He possesses. It wasn’t and isn’t about our performance. As hard as it is to wrap our minds around, it wasn’t about what we deserve. (THANK GOD!)

Recently, we watched Les Misérables and I was struck by a scene. After being released from years in prison for stealing bread for his young niece, a kind priest allows ex-con Jean Valjean to sleep in the convent. In the middle of the night, Jean steals all their silver and makes a run for it. The police catch him and return him to the priest asking what he would like done to the man. The priest gathers the silver candlesticks from the table, and says you forget the best part. He tells the police that he GAVE him all the silver. From this moment on, Jean is a different man. This is grace. This is what’s been done for us.

Today I pray that we would be vastly aware of what we have to give, and extravagantly generous to those around us. For we never know when a simple act of grace will change the course of someones life.

Still

I soak up these moments like I soak I the sun. I need this, more than that I crave this.

These are beautiful days, days of desires fulfilled and trees of life. I’ll be sure to miss them if I let my mind race to fast. Fear always seeks to steal, kill, and destroy, even life’s most precious moments.

Today I choose to embrace. I chose to be still. I choose to watch the crabs wander the sand. I choose to let my mind stop thinking. I choose to rest. And oh the thankfulness that rolls into this heart like the ocean before me.

What a beautiful life.

I know that change is at our doorstep. Beauty and transition and the responsibility that brings. I sense an increase and an expanding of our borders, but for this moment I am still, still and extremely thankful that He has withheld no good thing.

I blow a kiss to the one who is swimming in the ocean. He’s the only one out there. I love to watch him swim. My strong responsible preacher man gives me a glimpse of the boy he once was.

We breath in. We let go. We know. We have poured ourselves out and it is time for Him to pour Himself in. Life into this spirit and His breath onto any dry bones.
He is the endless ocean and bottomless sea.

rest for the soul

Rest. Yes, please, I’ll take the super-sized version.

We had a busy week last week, filled with amazing friends from many seasons, a gorgeous wedding, house guests, an ear infection, and not so fun cold.

As I enter this week, my soul craves the One it loves. I pulled an old Andrew Murray off the shelf called Abide in Christ. Andrew Murray has brought transformation to my life through his books. They are excellent. Read them. It’ll change your life too.

The pages are filled with heavy-hitting one liners.

“Only abiding in Jesus gives rest in Him.”

“He destined you to something better than short-lived blessedness.”

And this one really stood out to me. He is talking about when disappointment has crept in, expectations have not been met, and we’ve lost sight of what was so real and true when we first met Him.

“The answer is very simple. You wandered from Him. The blessings He bestows are all connected with His ‘come to Me,’ and are only to be enjoyed in close fellowship with Him.”

Although at first it feels sharp and convicting, it doesn’t take long until it is a warm comfort. Oh yes, I am just being a part of what He is doing. Oh yes, my job is to stay close. Oh yes, He desires intimacy above works. Oh yes, I can bear much fruit when I abide it in Him.

So, it’s back to the basics, and first things first. First comes the intimacy then comes the fruit. Sure, there is a kingdom to advance. Yes, there is a war to fight. Absolutely, there is darkness to penetrate, but why would I want to do that without the Light of the world?

28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Matthew 11:28-29

Come to Him and you will find rest for your soul. Let yourself crawl into His arms, experience His love wrapping around you. He is the all-sufficent One. Allow His Spirit to release life into your Spirit.

Have a happy Tuesday!

The truth about marriage.

Now that I have a whole 2 months of marital experience under my belt, I think it’s high time for a marriage post.

The truth is that I just think some of the rambings in my head may be good to get out, and possibly they may have the weight of freedom on them in some way or other.

As I think about marriage this morning, this verses come to mind.

“When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.”

Isaiah 43:2

I know not your typical marriage verse, and I could use a dozen others. But today the things that comes to my mind in the topic of overcoming. Perhaps all of life and even christianity is about this.

I like talking to other newly married couples, because you realize that all of us have things to overcome, especially when combining two lives that functioned quite smoothly alone. I am thankful beyond measure, because I am married to the humblest, most gracious man I know. My heart swells at the thought of him. I love that man more than anything except Jesus. In the tense moments, I can count on him to quickly round the corner, apologize, and once again pursue my heart.

And those my friends, are the qualities that really matter.

My qualities I was looking for in a spouse were humility, honesty, and humor (okay and maybe handsome too). I found him for sure. He exceeds my expectations in all of the above. I adore the man.

So back to overcoming, every couple of individual is always facing new giants in the land. And the beauty and challenge of marriage is choosing to be together as you pass through the water. Every relationship has different giants, ours won’t look the same as yours.

We are all gaining victory and taking lands through this process. We are all being prepared for things beyond our wildest dreams. We are all fighting to gain freedom in a new area. If we aren’t we should take a good look at our life and make sure that we are actually moving forward!

If you are single, let me encourage you by saying, everything doesn’t fall into place at the pronouncement of “mr and mrs …” It’s a whole new season of learning to overcome and grow in faith, and daily choosing to fight together for the new lands. But don’t lose hope, “He withholds no good thing” (Psalm 84:11). And marriage is a very good thing!

If you are married, more than likely you have way more experience at this than me, but please allow me to encourage you to cling to your spouse in the battles to overcome. Be it wanting a baby and not seeing that reality, having more babies that you feel like you can handle, stressful finances, a big transition, a challenging teenager, lack of communication, frustrating expectations, whatever it may be, chose the journey together and allow it to bring you closer. There is a call and a destiny on your union. Re-commit to overcoming the obstacles together. “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor” Ecclesiastes 4:9

Happy Saturday!

how to handle disappointment…

I am re-posting this one from last year, just in case someone out there really needs it. As I read through status updates and have conversations with friends, I think it might be relevant.

Love, Anna

With teary eyes, I sat down with 2 upbeat kids to read them their bedtime story. Generally, I am a kid person, and have a high value for engaging with them. This night I was struggling to get to 7:30 bedtime. I was quite relieved when the 3 year old insisted I play mermaids and sharks with her, only because it required getting into the bed and pulling the covers over my head. The mercy of God can come in such strange ways.

The little boy handed me a comic Bible. I told him to pick “one” story from the book. I am not a first-timer here. He chose 2 Samuel 12. It is the story of David and Bathsheba’s first child. Every kids favorite Bible story right?

Ha ha, I love my life.

As I swallowed huge lumps in my throat asking God to hold back my tears for another 10 minutes until I shut their door, He spoke to me through this comic Bible story.

The story begins with Samuel telling David a story. The story is about a rich man who steals a very poor man’s sheep. David becomes furious and demands that man be punished, the wise Samuel quickly informs him that he is that man. He stole Uriah’s wife and killed him. Samuel goes on to tell David that this sin will cost him the life of his first son with Bathsheba.

David repents, refuses to eat, and storms the gates of heaven with prayers for his infant son who soon became sick.

One week later, the child passes away.

The servants lurk in the corners of the room afraid to tell him the news. Let’s picture David in the moment. He has not eaten, he has not shaved or showered, and probably hasn’t slept much either. I think I’d be a little afraid too, of the scent if nothing less.

David sees them and he bluntly asked, “is the child dead?”. When they reply that indeed the child has passed, he gets up, eats, takes a shower and goes to the house of the Lord and he worships.

I want to stop here for a moment, because this fascinates me. Here’s a few reasons why…

1. David believed in God’s goodness enough to cry out for the desire of his heart.

2. He repented, but chose not to walk in condemnation for his sin.

3. He didn’t change his view of God’s character when he didn’t get what he asked for.

4. He still believed God was good and worthy to be worshipped.

5. Instead of doubting, asking questions or walking in shame, he worshipped.

6. He focused his attention on the Lord rather than the emotions he felt.

I can’t help but be challenged by David at this moment. Are these perhaps some of the reasons that he is the “man after God’s heart”?

What are my responses to disappointment?

Do I make a theology out of what happened to me?

Do I still believe He is good all the time?

Do I value worshipping Him above how I feel?

The story has an interesting and happy ending that I think isn’t coincidence, but God’s response to the pure heart of David.

David went to comfort Bathsheba, and she became pregnant again. They had Solomon a man of peace, who “God loved”.

We’ve all experienced sin and disappointment in walking on this earth, can I ask you today how you handle yours?

Is there anything you can learn from David?

As we look to the new year, let’s focus on the keys we learned from David rather than our emotions or disappointment.

For we have a great promise that “He works all things together for the good of those who love Him” (Romans 8:28).

Happy New Year!

What God’s Word Says About Marriage

Today I am posting a guest essay written by husband. I’ll give you a bit of background on this for it’s a story worth retelling. I am the baby of four kids, and have a southern dad who takes his role as protector with utmost seriousness. So when I came home in June and introduced him to the man I wanted to marry he had some “requirements” so to speak.

Chuck and dad went out for breakfast and he let dad know his intentions with me. While they were away I shared the girly version of our story with mom. She loved it. So when dad came in and stated that he was requiring Chuck to

A. List out the ten reasons why he wanted to marry me,

B. Write a biblical one page essay on his view of marriage,

before dad would give his blessing. We giggled a little. It seemed a bit intense in the moment, but now I find it quite endearing. I have a dad who knows my value, and wanted to make sure this man knew it as well! I have a great dad.

Thankfully, I have a great man as well who was more than willing to comply.

Chuck used the ten reasons he wanted me to be his wife in his proposal. (Yep, it paid off for him as well!)

BUT, I didn’t read his essay till this morning, and thought it’d be fun to share with you as well. So here it is…

What God’s Word Says About Marriage

by Chuck Maher

“We live in an age where much of the western world has devalued the covenant of marriage, deeming it less than sacred. To many, it is an old fashioned formality at best. However, those who hold fast to the sacred scriptures and believe The Bible to be the perfect, divinely inspired word of God, marriage is part of God’s perfect plan for mankind. Marriage is one of God’s gifts to humanity.

After God created the first man He said, “It is not good for man to be alone; I will make a helper comparable to him.” (Genesis 2:18, NKJV). God did so by taking one of Adam’s ribs from him and using that rib to create women (see Genesis 2:21-22). When God presented the women to Adam he said, “This is now bone of my bones And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of man” (vs 23). The Bible goes on to say, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (vs 24). When a man and women become married, they are no longer two, but the two have become one.

God’s covenant of marriage is not to be taken lightly. When a man and women get married, they should remember that they are not only making a commitment before people, but also before God Himself. Marriage is a joining together of a man and women for as long as they both shall live. And divorce is not God’s desire for any married couple (See Matthew 19:4-6). Therefore, lifelong commitment to each other is vital to every married couple. God also desires that marriage is the environment in which children are raised (see Malachi 2:14-15).

For Christians, God’s instruction is that believers only be married to another believer. If a Christian marries an unbeliever they become what the Bible calls “unequally yoked” (see 2 Corinthians 6:14). And man is to have only one wife, and a women one husband. The Bible also teaches that marriage is meant to be between a man and women only, and never between those of the same sex (see 1 Cor.6:9-10, Leviticus 18:22). This should be obvious by the fact that it takes a man and a women to procreate. Same sex marriage is both unnatural and unbiblical.

Marriage is sacred and holy, but it is also a gift that’s meant to be enjoyed. It is a union that’s designed to benefit us spiritually, emotionally and physically. And romance is a very important part of marriage (see Song of Solomon). Marriage is so close to the Lord’s heart that he used it as a picture to describe Christ’s relationship with His church (see Ephesians 5:22-33). In the same way that Christ is the head of the church, the husband is meant to lead in the marriage relationship. And, the wife is called to submit to her husband (see Ephesians 5:23-24). However, this only works properly when husbands love their wives with the same sacrificial love that Christ has for the church (see vs 25).”

In case you are wondering, dad has now fully embraced Chuck. We knew this for certain when they were at my dad’s tree farm in August and he started calling him “Chucker”.

One thing I’ve learned is that marriage is a transition for everyone in the family, not just us. It’s been a bit of an unexpected journey, but it’s moving forward, and worth it all.

I hope this blesses you today!

2012 in pictures!

A year in review…

January, I went on a trip with Steve Backlund to Casper, WY. It was a great trip, the only downside, Daniel and I had to spend the night in the Denver airport, because we missed our last flight…

Then late January to early February I went to the Toronto area with 3 good friends. We laughed until our stomachs hurt on many occasions.

On the way home, my “friend” Chuck shared with me some of his dreams and desires. My eyes filled with tears as the things he shared were like pages out of my journal, word for word. (more on that later)

Then there was San Diego-

In late March-early April, I led an amazing team of revivalists to Croatia with my “friend” Chuck. We saw loads of salvations in both Bosnia and Croatia.

oh yeah and we went to VENICE on our day off…

April was my 28th birthday, here’s pics from a skype with some of my all-time favs-And Chuck and I became official…

our first picture. 🙂 on the river trail over looking the sacramento river. awe.

May was a visit from the always wonderful Layne Beckner Grime.

and then the dream team re-united for Trinidad-

Those two are engaged now! Yay for Mel and Chris!Then in June, home to Texas for a visit and for Chuck to meet the fam.

(we drove by my childhood home)

in July I flew to Canada to meet Chuck’s family-

and then on prince edward island on 7.7…we got engaged!!!

in August,

another visit to Texas, family and wedding planning.

a visit to seattle to meet the brewsters and kornaros’

September was back to Wyoming-

including a trip to Yellowstone with Pat and Fred!and lots of wedding planning.

And October was we bought a house!!

oh and wedding month in Texas-

just had to include this one. have you ever seen a cuter coffee date?!

painting pumpkins, and making icing

getting nails done.

Then best day ever!!!!

off to St. Thomas for the honeymoon.

That brings us to November, when the book that I got to be a contributing author, Higher Perspectives, came out. Such a dream come true, I love writing.

That brings us to December! This month I did some nannying…

he said we do “team work” & I said ok!And we ministered on the North coast of California and here in Texas, and now we are celebrating Christmas with our Texas family!

And NOW I understand why I am so tired. I think I’ll sleep right on through January!

Thanks for listening and looking. 🙂

Can’t wait to see what 2013 holds!

I am so thankful for the dreams that came true this year! God is so good. I got to help write a book, get married, and buy a house!